Fed is Best- Really

Being a new parent can sometimes feel like being back in middle school all over again. You are in this unfamiliar territory, and everyone around you is telling you there is a right way to do things. There is a lot of judgment in parenthood, and a lot of this judgment comes from a “look” that families often put on. We believe that the family with the matching outfit Christmas photos in front of their perfect tree ” have it all down”, or that mom in a moms group who’s baby picked up breastfeeding instantly is “an automatic parenting expert” the fact of the matter is, unfortunately, parents judge other parents. We wish we had the magic button to stop this, that we could convey that every family struggles in their own ways. Today we are here to talk about an area in parenthood that can feel more judgmental than any: how we feed our babies. We are here to explain why we are adamant that fed is best- really!

Not all humans can or want to breastfeed- that is OKAY

As postpartum doulas, we hear more women shaming themselves for not being able to or choosing not to breastfeed than almost anything else. This is a very personal decision and most of the time a hard one. The fact is that breastfeeding does not work for everyone. Before judging a friend or a family member please remember this: We often don’t have an intimate look at others’ struggles. Someone may choose not to breastfeed because they don’t like having their breasts touched, they have had sexual trauma, it hurts too badly, they are on medication that prevents them from doing so, they have postpartum depression and need sufficient sleep, health reasons, and the list goes on and on! There also are people who just simply do not want to breastfeed, and guess what? That is okay! There are plenty of perfectly healthy and happy babies who are formula-fed.

Breastfeeding is amazing!

We will start with this because we are in no way here to knock breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is an amazing thing that many of our bodies can do, and when we are able or have made the choice to breastfeed it can be amazing. It is incredible that our bodies can produce this optimal food for our babies. It is fascinating how scientific this is, and it should be celebrated, we are not here to knock this. So if you are breastfeeding and the choice was right for you, pat yourself on the back you are amazing!

Formula is also amazing!

Did you know that formula is the most regulated food in the world? That’s right, formula has been tested and tested again. As humans we need options, everything doesn’t always work out the way we would like it to, and how amazing is it that we have an option to feed our babies when we are not able or would not like to breastfeed. There are also benefits to formula feeding, these include the possibility of more sleep and your partner being able to feed your baby as well. If your baby is formula-fed, you are amazing! You have made feeding your baby a priority!

There are other alternatives

If you would like more choices, there are many! For some parents, it is very important to them that their child has breastmilk, but breastfeeding is not an option. Luckily, there are many alternatives here! You can try pumping, donor milk, chest feeding, or a combination of both breastmilk and formula. There is a local milk bank in San Jose called Mothers milk bank where you can receive donor breastmilk. If you are looking for donor milk you can also check local Facebook groups. If you would like to explore donor milk, those are great places to start!

You get to choose whats best for your baby

This is what it comes down to; you choose what is best for you and best for your baby. This isn’t your mom, neighbor, doula, or friend’s choice; it is yours! If breastfeeding is something you would like to do and works well for you, fantastic, and congratulations on feeding your baby! If formula feeding is what feels best for you, and works best for you, congratulations on feeding your baby! No matter how your baby is fed, you are a rockstar! You are doing the best that you can, and you are taking care of yourself and your baby.

We are proud of you!

We are proud of you for reading this blog, for taking care of your baby, and for taking care of yourself. Our team believes in you, and is here to cheer you on! Try and celebrate the amazing parts of this parenting journey, and when there are hard moments please remember that everything is temporary. Parenthood is hard, and you are doing the best you can. Should you ever need or like additional support the Bay City Doulas team is here, we are passionate about the work that we do, and the care that we provide. We are passionate about families making the choices that work best for them, and we are here to help you!

Thank you for reading this weeks blog, Fed is best- really! For more helpful tips on all things pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and parenthood please check out our weekly blogs.