Amihan’s Postpartum Journey

Today we are lucky to have one of the fantastic postpartum doulas at Bay City Doulas join us to discuss her postpartum journey. Amihan (she/her) is a connected doula in Santa Cruz and beyond, as well as a mom herself. She brings her wealth of knowledge, passion, and connection and is always researching, and bettering her personal practice. We invited Amihan to join us on our blog this week to talk about her own postpartum journey. The beautiful moments, hard moments, and the spots in between.

Thank you for joining us Amihan! We are so excited to have you on our blog this week. Before we get started, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

I was born and raised in Southeastern Appalachian, Ohio, with roots in the Ifugao province of the northern Philippines. My mother was a La Leche League leader (breastfeeding support organization) for 10 years and I was always drawn to babies as a child. As a young adult, I traveled and lived internationally, exploring some of my many passions including sustainable and regenerative agriculture, language, social justice, herbalism, and holistic health. Since moving to Santa Cruz, I have enjoyed exploring the west coast with my partner and our two-and-a-half-year-old.

How long have you been working with new families?

When I moved here about five years ago while nannying I lived with a very knowledgeable and well-connected doula, now a midwife. That was my introduction to the birth world and I began caring for families and even attending a few births. I learned the innate value of having support during this transformational period and transitioned from nanny to doula-in-training.

Because of your professional experience did you assume that your postpartum journey would be “easier” than others?

Absolutely! I was so prepared for both pregnancy and postpartum! Until I was actually pregnant, then it all went out the window.

What was different for you once your baby was here?

Like most people heading into new parenthood, especially those who fancy themselves “good with babies,” it’s hard to admit that maybe you don’t exactly know what you’re doing at all times! So that, combined with exhaustion and fluctuating hormones, nothing made sense, and I didn’t have the grace to ask anyone but my partner for what I needed. I think because I had done all the research and seen other parents go through it, I thought I would be able to draw on that and glide through the first few months. After my experience, knowing that being graceful by asking for and accepting help in many forms is crucial and that is what actually would let me thrive.

In what areas do you feel like your professional experience helped your own journey postpartum?

Infant care first and foremost. I never felt worried about clipping nails, soothing, safe sleeping, or anything of that nature, which definitely took a lot off my plate. These types of care are some things I provide support and direction for in my own practice and make a massive difference for first-time parents. I should mention that before I gave birth, I made sure that I would have people come to check on me, including my own mother and mother-in-law. I doubt I would have set that detail up had I not seen it create a positive impact on other families.

Is there anything you felt was more complicated than you had anticipated and may be made even more difficult because of your history with postpartum for others?

Unfortunately, I neglected to care for my relationship with my partner during the fourth trimester specifically. We stopped talking about anything other than the baby for a long time. Eventually, we had to work our way back until we felt like a couple AND parents. I drive this point home with all my clients in a gentle and genuine way that asks of them only that they put thought into what it will look like to care for their relationships as they, too, undergo an incredible transformation. I see how becoming parents can drastically change how a couple might interact and connect, there is so much to rediscover. There is infinite potential in how this rediscovery can be done with as much grace and tenderness as the discovery of a new baby.

How long did it take you to feel integrated into your new chapter of life?

You know what they say; you are postpartum for the rest of your life. I don’t think I can answer this because the pandemic began as our fourth trimester ended. Instead of finally bringing our new baby into the world to meet our loved ones, we stayed inside. Day in and day out. I don’t need to go into how that impacted becoming a parent, although, in a way, it was a blessing to have both me and my partner home full time. We could bond as a family because neither of us had to return to work after just a few months. It directly led to me making postpartum care the service that I now provide to my community.

What are some of your favorite resources for new or expecting parents?

There are as many ways of parenting as there are parents in the world, as well as many books, podcasts, and classes. I would encourage everyone to explore as much as possible to find what information is in alignment with their individual values and needs. One of my favorite podcasts is “Unruffled” a Respectful Parenting podcast by Janet Lansbury, an RIE (Resources for Infant Educators) expert. Another powerful tool to equip yourself with is support groups. Local or virtual, having peers who know what you’re going through in a physical, real-time way can help you normalize your experiences and express yourself in a safe environment.

In closing, what advice do you have for new parents who are preparing for their postpartum journey?

Trust yourself and ask for help. These two things can be empowering in a whole new way when you are in the vulnerable postpartum season. Only you can know how you want to care for your child and what you need to thrive. For those of you who are going through this again, be it your second or sixth child, integrating your other child/children will benefit the whole home. Talking about changes and ways they can be involved will go a long way when the baby finally comes. And, of course, get yourself a postpartum doula to support you, your family, and your heart unconditionally.

Thank you for joining us and sharing your personal postpartum journey Amihan! We appreciate your work with both Bay City Doulas and the Bay Area community.

Thank you for reading this weeks blog, ” Amihan’s postpartum journey.” For more helpful tips and tricks on all things pregnancy, postpartum, and parenthood visit our weekly blog.